In the Trenches: Humpty Dumpty

My client was a young female photographer and her husband, who were opening a studio on Tyler Street in downtown Longview. We had visited once at the location, and gone over what she wanted on the front of her building above a metal awning, and also determined she would need a sign that would hang under the awning for sidewalk traffic to see.

By email, I had sent her drawings and prices, and pretty soon I had a job to do. The letters were simple flat cut aluminum, powder coated in two colors. My price included installation, of course, which meant working up on that old awning on the front of her leased location, a long and narrow older building with a 25-foot-wide storefront.

I made and powder coated the letters, and had made significant progress on the awning sign when I went downtown to set an array of walkboards on the awning since I could tell it was lightly built and I would have to be careful walking on it.

I leaned my ladder against the awning’s edge on the right side, up near the building, squeezing in between their awning and the one next door, and climbed up the ladder with a board in hand. Over on the awning I went and had a helper handing me boards to pave the area I would be moving on. But, after I had pulled up two or three boards, I began to notice how flimsy and unstable my platform seemed to be. Right about then I realized one of the four support arms that went diagonally from the building to secure the front edge of the awning had broken completely free.

I was probably within seconds of a real disaster, and knew beyond a doubt that if that old awning and I came crashing down to the sidewalk 15 feet below, all the kings horses and all the kings men would not be able to me back together again!

Instantly Humpty Dumpty handed back the most recently accepted walkboard, and within a second or two was back on the ladder climbing down to good old terra firma, counting his blessings every step of the way.

I emailed my client and let her know that I did not believe her job could be done safely from the awning, and that I would need to get a manlift brought in, at a cost of approximately $300, to get on with installing both letters and sign. I received an email back saying that she did not expect to have to pay another $300, and that she had assumed I had figured the condition of the awning in the pricing of my original bid.

As politely as possible, I explained that we weren’t really in the awning inspection business, and that normally if an awning could withstand rain, wind, snow, and thunderstorms, one knuckle headed sign maker can walk around on it without the imminent risk of death or dismemberment. Her second response was still more concerned with her checkbook’s health than with mine, so I told her I would make up some braces that would support that awning until I was done, and this would be at my expense, another installment on the impressive cost of my continuing education.

And that is what I did, though it looked like a construction site for the several days I kept my contraptions in place. But I figured while I was working up above that awning, I was nearly as safe as I would have been walking around on my own back porch. The job was done, it turned out great, and the only damage to old Humpty Dumpty was a little more sunburn on the back of his neck. On his way out, being ever a gentleman, old H.D. even spent a few minutes doing repairs on that rickety awning at no extra charge.

What did I learn from all this? Not as much as I would like. I was mostly reminded that even though I can usually tell how much time it will take to complete a project while working in the shop, when I’m bidding installs and work in the field, my estimate of the labor involved is usually little more than a wild guess. I’ve dug into meteors, hit pipelines that were supposed to have been marked, and drilled into brick so hard it would burn up a half dozen carbide bits before destroying the hammer drill itself.

I could say I have fought all those battles and have the scars to prove it, but fortunately that’s not really true. Only one job in all these years ended in a trip to the doctor’s office, and even that injury required no stitches, so I truly am counting my blessings. Generally my schedule, my ego and my sanity are the only casualties of the battles I’ve fought, and I’ve learned to operate with a minimum of any of those.

But, I hope you’re better at all this than I am, and come out on all your bids and projects. Being “In the Trenches” has never been that easy for me, but I’m still in the game and not in the hospital, so, all things considered I guess I’m doing alright. I hope you and your sign business are too, and wish you a have safe, productive and profitable month.

—Rick

Sign & Digital Graphics

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